well,seems like every of my friends already have the aim and course to study after their foundations.
I admit that I just simply chose alevels to study and as an excuse.
That's the worst choice I had made.
I wasted time there and until now I am still blur of my future.
what to study after alevels?
我忽然发现我们现代的年轻人以后改走的路好像都已经被锁定了
没有改变了。
如果你读不上大学，你就是个烂人。
是酱的道理吗？
现代年轻人读的科目一目了然
读art的，
不是工商，就是会计
读science的，
不是医生就是关于bio
我家观念偏激
像女生就不应该读engineering.
我妈就很希望我去读pharmacy.
我跟她说需要很多钱
我不想读 不想有太大的压力
其实我多羡慕我妈和爸以前
他们18岁就从乡下出来工作
自立更生 虽然只是打工
可是是他们的兴趣
努力为自己的未来打造一片天
而我们现在呢
其实是个窝囊废
被父母宠坏
连我自己的未来
我到现在还迷糊
我很失败
现在街上谁不是大学生
可是他们都算成功了吗？
为自己活过了吗？
死而无憾了吗？
只是为了父母，为了面子,一味的读书。
他们的眼里不读书的孩子就是烂人
不要跟他们做朋友
不是吗？
连我自己也有这种想法
我以前看到后面班的 还会说真是没救了
我歧视他们。
现在我发现我错得彻底
对不起。
在我学院了还有个人为了读书竟然疯掉了
真是讽刺
听说是被妈妈逼疯的
我只觉得很心寒
我上了学院后发现了很多事情
以前我从来不懂的事
我发现我同年的同学竟然比我懂得很多
他们互相勾心斗角
自我保护的太过分
以致太虚伪。
我一开始不能接受
我一直向好朋友哭诉
可是到后来我才发现其实那些人不是坏人
其实他们是懂得保护自己
为了自己的利益 不惜一切
我才明白原来这个世界长这样。
连我现在也会保护自己了
我也变得虚伪了
我很不喜欢现在的自己
以前我有话直说
弄不爽过很多朋友
原来他们喜欢甜言蜜语
上了大学后，我学会怎么应付了
就算几不爽都好，脸上都是微笑。
厉害吧 最高境界了 恭喜我吧。
不只是我在改变
连我以前所谓的好朋友们也变了
他们竟然可以为了自己的利益
连狐狸尾巴都漏出来了 还不知道==
说是为了别人 可是其实明明是为了自己
还以为自己是伟人
别问我是谁 我不会说的
不过我身边还是有位百分百的好朋友
我很欣赏她 她敢作敢讲
不爽就全部写上部落格
帅啊 我欣赏你
她很真 虽然改变了不少
可是性格 心地还是很好
认识了她差不多10年
10年 谁不变？
只要心不变就好^^
这些话压抑在我心里很久了
想了很久 才一股气写完出来
不管有没有人看得懂
只要我懂就好
写出来了的感觉真棒
松了口气
不然会郁闷到死
:)
Friday, June 3, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
It's going to an end..
Hmm.how to start?
There's alot of things came cross my mind.
but now my mind suddenly blank like a white paper lol.
anyway, just congrates me that I am going to end my As exams.
I should be super happy and shouting down there since I am finishing my exams.
but why I feel so void and emptiness?
I've been study for everyday until the middle of the night.
Just for tomorrow's exams.
This is the first time I am doing these.
I never work hard before for my whatever exams.
and this is my first time I wanted to try my best.
Whatever PMR SPM I just thought like its just an exam .
well,this time is so obviously different thoughts for me.
maybe because I pay . sorry it's my mum paid for over ten thousand just for letting me to study this a levels.
I dont want to disappoint my mum and wasting her money.
but I think I'm phailed.
I never thought that a levels can be that tough.
And I am still playing around for the first semester.
I almost skipped all the lecture classes in the first semester.
why? I also do not know why.
Maybe it's a trend that my friend always skip classes.
so I just follow them.
I am damn regret now.
I swear I will work harder for next semester.
And there's a unfortunate things I want to share.
for your information , I'd skipped alot of classes and that cause my notes to be not complete.
I kept lending from my friends and maybe making them feel unhappy.
I wonder.
If they are real friends , why would they just so easily show their anger to me?
I am really disappointed.
Maybe we are not meant to be real friends.
well,my friends also skipped classes with me but
they have "special people" to teach them during exam or whenever they dont understand or what.
I really feel like isshh why am I so stupid to skip classes with them?
they have special offer from someone but I do not have!!
so in the end,they get the equal results as I .
But for me , I studied until 3am just for everyday tomorrow's exams.
I'd really put alot of effort in catching up the syllabus and works.
but how about them? they just simply ask for someone's help whenever they met a obstacle in the book.
I have to search thru internet and check for the solution.
It takes me so much time okay!!
It's such a unfair.
really.
I am so fed up.
P/s: yeah they also did put effort on studies.but I am just feeling unbalanced since I am working harder than them.
well just let me cried out loud here :((
Overall it's because I am stupid.
I will never let them influence me in the next semester.
We are friends. yeah we can still talk and laughed during rest time.
but I will control myself not to become so crazy just like the previous semester.
will study harder and smarter :)
gayao everyone!
well its all about my deep heart's talks.
And today I finished chemistry paper one!
fuyohh im so touched you know!
I knew how to answer almost every questions?
but i think half of my answers are wrong.
HAHA but nvm!!
at least my effort doesnt wasted!!
I studied until 3 oclock again for yesterday!
hehehe :))
well I dont mind to retake as I want to work real hard and archieve a good result for my mummy and daddy :)
But practical exams are the disaster for me!! omggahhh. :((
nevermind lahhh just take it easy :))
yeah kept self comforting.
Yeah two more papers to go!
all objectives.
yeah my biology.please dont be so tough.
I have the most confident in you!!
XDD.
GOGOGO everyone! run for your life!
HAHAHAHA :P
There's alot of things came cross my mind.
but now my mind suddenly blank like a white paper lol.
anyway, just congrates me that I am going to end my As exams.
I should be super happy and shouting down there since I am finishing my exams.
but why I feel so void and emptiness?
I've been study for everyday until the middle of the night.
Just for tomorrow's exams.
This is the first time I am doing these.
I never work hard before for my whatever exams.
and this is my first time I wanted to try my best.
Whatever PMR SPM I just thought like its just an exam .
well,this time is so obviously different thoughts for me.
maybe because I pay . sorry it's my mum paid for over ten thousand just for letting me to study this a levels.
I dont want to disappoint my mum and wasting her money.
but I think I'm phailed.
I never thought that a levels can be that tough.
And I am still playing around for the first semester.
I almost skipped all the lecture classes in the first semester.
why? I also do not know why.
Maybe it's a trend that my friend always skip classes.
so I just follow them.
I am damn regret now.
I swear I will work harder for next semester.
And there's a unfortunate things I want to share.
for your information , I'd skipped alot of classes and that cause my notes to be not complete.
I kept lending from my friends and maybe making them feel unhappy.
I wonder.
If they are real friends , why would they just so easily show their anger to me?
I am really disappointed.
Maybe we are not meant to be real friends.
well,my friends also skipped classes with me but
they have "special people" to teach them during exam or whenever they dont understand or what.
I really feel like isshh why am I so stupid to skip classes with them?
they have special offer from someone but I do not have!!
so in the end,they get the equal results as I .
But for me , I studied until 3am just for everyday tomorrow's exams.
I'd really put alot of effort in catching up the syllabus and works.
but how about them? they just simply ask for someone's help whenever they met a obstacle in the book.
I have to search thru internet and check for the solution.
It takes me so much time okay!!
It's such a unfair.
really.
I am so fed up.
P/s: yeah they also did put effort on studies.but I am just feeling unbalanced since I am working harder than them.
well just let me cried out loud here :((
Overall it's because I am stupid.
I will never let them influence me in the next semester.
We are friends. yeah we can still talk and laughed during rest time.
but I will control myself not to become so crazy just like the previous semester.
will study harder and smarter :)
gayao everyone!
well its all about my deep heart's talks.
And today I finished chemistry paper one!
fuyohh im so touched you know!
I knew how to answer almost every questions?
but i think half of my answers are wrong.
HAHA but nvm!!
at least my effort doesnt wasted!!
I studied until 3 oclock again for yesterday!
hehehe :))
well I dont mind to retake as I want to work real hard and archieve a good result for my mummy and daddy :)
But practical exams are the disaster for me!! omggahhh. :((
nevermind lahhh just take it easy :))
yeah kept self comforting.
Yeah two more papers to go!
all objectives.
yeah my biology.please dont be so tough.
I have the most confident in you!!
XDD.
GOGOGO everyone! run for your life!
HAHAHAHA :P
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